1.5.8.1 Kinds of Love

Version 1.0 October 2022                             (Previous Version)

A central theme in ethics is how to express or codify that we should care for the welfare of others. We should not cause unnecessary harm, we should take reasonable steps to minimize harm, and we should act so as to increase the general well-being of others.  We call this valuing Love, making choices that are beneficial to others and minimize harm to them, tending towards satisfying their needs or desires and promoting well-being and more fulfilling lives.

Greek has a number of different words for different kinds of love.  Some key ones are:

Eros:     romantic, passionate love, usually involving sexual attraction or intercourse;

Philia:  intimate, authentic friendship, usually platonic or non-sexual;

Storge: unconditional, familial love, especially between parent and child or siblings.

Agápe:  empathetic, universal love, such as love of humanity in general.

Some may include Philautia, compassionate self-love, which is not selfish but means you look after yourself, physically and emotionally, accepting who you are and your limitations.

In earlier times rulers proposing or maintaining treaty arrangements or partnerships with other rulers might express “love� for each other, even if they did not know them well and were unrelated.  This was in a diplomatic context, and involved none of the above kinds of love, but still involved respect for the other and a wish to not do them harm and enhance their welfare.

In REALigion we can value all these kinds of love, meaning we will act to minimize suffering and enhance well-being for all our loved ones: lovers, friends and family, as well as the wider community.

While we do value sexual love, especially given that loving sexual intercourse can bring great joy, we emphasize that this is only a small aspect of valuing Love.  It is in this context that Compassion might be a more appropriate word – not passive feelings of pity, empathy or concern, but a strong feeling of empathy which generates a strong drive to be actively engaged in helping other people.  Here we sometimes treat Love and Compassion as almost interchangeable in many contexts, but sexual and familial love (Eros and Storge) involve more strongly felt visceral (deep, bodily) emotions than Philia or Agápe.